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Bier de Stone

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What were you thinking when you realized the TV could paralize you for seconds at a time

I got out of bed at 5:45 today. I was awake since 4:30, but I didn't feel there was a need to get up to prep my laundry so early. I was wrong. There was an entire row of machines running on their own which would've been the machines I would've used because they're the only medium-size load machines adjacent to the small-load machines, an one dollar difference.

So, I got up with the plan to get back into bed after doing the laundry so that I might snooze a big more before work. The cafe latté at Starbucks spoiled that slothful idea. But it was something to look forward to which makes the grumpiness go away. It's like reading a good book that you can't set down, or watching a suspense movie that won't let you blink away for a second. Have you ever noticed how TV shows tend to abruptly pause for commercial breaks at just that moment when the scene become murderously interesting. It's like being a deer crossing the road in which a distracting headlight holds your attention. What pretty bright lights are these? I shall stand here and stare at the pretty lights until I can… SPLAT!!!!

I've got TiVo and I watch TV with remote in hand to fast FWD past the commercial breaks. This habit seems to be taking it's tow on my batteries, or perhaps the remote control itself, for when I press a button, there is a long pause before the TV screen shows any effect. There are times that I will press a button and watch patiently until it becomes obvious that the button had no effect at all and must be pressed again. Sometimes the TV plays with me and at the moment I am about to try the remote again, the screen shows some activity. I've thought of calling for some support on the matter, because I have lost a few saved programs by clicking the same button twice.

Ever notice how one can sit in a daze for the first few seconds of the commercial break? It's as if one is trying to absorb what just happened in your favorite TV show. I've been watching The good wife since the new Fall season has started--uh, I don't think we'll be seeing Big love anymore. Did they cancel that series? I dunno. I don't have Internet--and I enjoy watching the tribulations of others' relationships that I might guess correctly the outcome.

So there I am. Sitting. On my couch. I'm astounded at the sex, at the clinchers, at the backstabbing, at the conspiracy. I know full well that the show has just paused for a sponsor break and it's time to work my magic fingers on the remote to bypass all the annoying commercials, but there is no movement in my fingers holding the remote. I am flabbergasted. A deer in the middle of the road staring at the oncoming headlights. It isn't until something really stupid during the commercial break snaps me out of this trance. And I wonder to myself, "this must be what subliminal messaging is like".

The event's first episode was dumb. I refuse to sit in bewilderment knowing that I am being expected to tune in to the program to find out what happened to the airplane. I guess the reason I was not hooked is because of the way the special effects threw me off. The first episode ends by showing an airplane seemingly headed for a collision course toward the location where the Prez is currently participating in a fund raiser. The plane is flying unusually low and headed straight for the benefit function. As the secret service learns of the oncoming plane, they take measures to protect the Prez and evacuating him. However, as the plane progressivly nears with the roar of engines and the blast of wind knocking everything down at the political function, a flash of light opens a worm hole in which the plane evaporates. At first, I got the impression that the flash was the blast that the plane made upon impact. But was really gets me is how the uncontrolable wind and the roar of the engines gave prelude to the effect that the airplane was directly over its target, and yet the scene is cut to an angle showing the airplane's oncoming path, almost as if it missed its target, or was never intended to be used as a missile. Make up your mind! Either the plane is on top of it's target, or it's still enroute. Either the plane over shot it's target, or we the viewers were wrong to assume that it was intended to crash into the VIP lounge. I didn't get any explanation of what and/or where the uncontrolable winds were coming from if indeed we are to believe that the airplane in question mysteriously evaporated thru a window in time as if a corridor (is that the right word I'm looking for?) were opened.

Too much. I told myself I wouldn't be a couch potato, but I think it's too late. I can't bring myself to tune out of Bored to death and I've been watching The good wife since its inception. I'm recording the entire season of Sons of anarchy, but decided I wouldn't watch this show until every last episode has been saved. There's She of TV4 and NBC4 news, SNL, and as if that isn't enough… right before bed, I've developed the habit of puting my alarm on snooze to listen to talk radio. KFI has segments addressing doomsday in 2012 and the idea that there is a conspiracy to prepare citizens for iminant doom by hypnotizing couch potatos with ideas of alien abductions in shows like The event. I wouldn't feel so lazy if I were watching from the treadmill, but the noise of the machine drowns out the audio of my TV and I have to set my preferences to closed captioned. That's fine for some shows, but sitcoms usually have stupid sound effects, or facial expressions that, if missed by the distraction of reading or external noise, prove pointless to the punch line.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

Tags: boob tube, via ljapp

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