Day 2

I'm calculating that my letter arrives either today or tomorrow. Considering that I mailed the letter to another part of the city, it really shouldn't take longer than a day to arrive. I'm such a dork. I forgot to specify in it that I had dreams of becoming a cartoonist back when I was in high school. But wait! Is that something I just told my asshole friends when they asked me what I was thinking of doing with my life? I never really was obsessed with that enough to appear geeky and nerdy. I see the effects of this in many people who come to my work to read manga and how-to-draw manga books. I would check out drawing books from time to time back in those days too, but I never really read them.

So. I'm nervous. I was nervous yesterday too, after I dropped off the letter at the postoffice. I had asked how much postage it would take and the clerk said the letter was exactly four ounces and that one forty-four stamp would suffice. I asked him "What? One dollar and forty-four cents?" reaching for my wallet, getting ready to pay. But he corrected me and said it would take a first class stamp. 44¢

I thought it would be more because I used a wax seal with a fig leaf embossed in it. I was sure the postoffice charges more for that kind of embellishment. I guess I got lucky that he didn't notice. At the same time, I'm expecting that I will see aforementioned letter back in my mailbox with an indication that it is being returned for insufficient postage. MFers! if that happens, might as well include a note on the envelope saying "next time don't get fancy with the wax seal, hosehead. This is how nervous I am.

I requested a photo for my troubles in pouring my soul, in the form of picture mail. I left my number. I have hers, but I don't have the balls to call her. She never called me back either. As if. Everyone's so f'in busy with getting on with their lives. That's why I feel stupid. Upon reflection, I realize while writing the letter, I kept thinking it would transend the hands of time one day when somebody will take note of this enormous love that I have been neglected of and research my life yadda yadda yadda. But no. In comparison with the heartbreaking love stories that take place in the real world, my feelings are nothing.