Getting ripped off 101

It is something that has probably happened to every single hard working American. A purchase for an appliance, a product, whatever turns out to be a lemmon. The most recent thing for me was a gas powered chimney set with a remote control device. Junk! For that little item, I convince myself to keep it. It's still in the fireplace too, which means, I have to remove it in order to build a regular fire with real logs. I'm hoping I'll save my lungs by never ever building a fire in the fire place again, because even though the ventilation works fine, there's always a little bit of smoke that escapes into the house.

The other day, my old man spends about $200 on a book set to learn English. Jeez Luise, I can't even bring myself to speak to him in English because I'm so used to talking to my parents in their own language. It just feels odd, that's all. He understands me if I speak to him in English. Anyway, his book set comes with a cheap little electronic calculator/English translator. Junk!

He asks me to call the number he was given if anything questions about the purchase arise. I mean, I read the instructions that came with the device and I know junk when I see it, but dear ol' Dad wants me to give the people a call to ask them how to make the gizmo work, then explain it to him. Fuck that. He spent the money, he should call. The number, I'm guessing, is a direct line to the Spanish speaking department. What else could anybody want. I say, let Dad discover himself what kind of junk he purchased and leave me out of it.

When I do call, my only objective is to inquire about how to obtain a refund. You can imagine how the conversation went, with each party talking over the other person and nobody really listening to what the other guy has to say. Eventually I'm cut off and disconnected because, after all, who really needs to deal with that kind of treatment at work. So again, this bullshit all falls on my Dad's moronic decision to buy something he saw advertised on TV. Lesson one, how to rip people off using the English language.

I'm certain he really does have a desire to learn English. He already knows some of it. Whether he uses the books and goes out and buys himself a decent electronic translating unit is his problem (or mine when his birthday rolls around again). I advised him to get a refund but he says he doesn't want one. Fine. Pursue your effort to get a functional piece of junk Daddy-o. Next time you want my advise on how to make it work, call the fuckheads at the help line. They'll be there for you from Monday thru Friday during regular working hours. What else do you have to do now that you've retired?