March 17th, 2011

Bierde

Plot

Before I forget. It never fails that I'll pick up a book on screenwriting techniques for inspiration, then, in the middle of reading, I'll have a few ideas on how to get around the writers block I'm stuck on. However, I won't set book down to write, and by the time I finish chapter, I've forgotten what I was thinking of.

The gist of it is I'm almost too tired of writing by experience. My life is just too lame to have even the slightest impression that I lived through all those situations that are still in my head.

Here goes anyway, before I forget again.

Protagonist: it's not that I'm impotent. I'm certainly not gay. I happen to love women too; it's the only way I can rub one out, looking at dirty pictures.

Protagonists friend: Then what's wrong with you? Are you ree-TAR-ded?

P: No. I don't think women like me.

PF: They don't have to like you. I know where swarms of women hang out just to get laid for the moment.

P: I doubt that's going to work for me. Besides, if there isn't intimacy, how long you calculate before I kill myself for not being able to perform in the middle of all the humping?

PF: you're disfunctional? Take Viagra.

P: I'm as horny as they come. It's just... Nobody satisfies me the way I know how. Plus, I'm always thinking of the aftermath. You know, the hair razing tantrums from the girl if she expected more than a fling.

PF: I'm telling you, I know where there--

P: You're not listening. I'm after Paris Hilton quality booty. What'd you think that's gonna run? I'm not rich, you know. The classified section doesn't pay very much more than administrator. Or, what's your title? Receptionist?

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movies scheduled for release 3/18/11

Paul (R)
Director: Greg Mottola
Stars: Simon Pegg (the Shaun of the dead crew), Nick Frost, Seth Rogen
Studio: Universal Pictures

Simon Pegg and Nick Frost (Hot Fuzz, Shaun of the Dead) reunite for the comedy adventure Paul as two sci-fi geeks whose pilgrimage takes them to America's UFO heartland. While there, they accidentally meet an alien who brings them on an insane road trip that alters their universe forever. For the past 60 years, an alien named Paul (voiced by Seth Rogen) has been hanging out at a top-secret military base. When he discovers he's been taken prisoner, the space-traveling smart ass decides to escape the compound and hop on the first vehicle out of town-a rented RV containing Earthlings Graeme Willy (Pegg) and Clive Gollings (Frost). Chased by federal agents and the fanatical father of a young woman that they accidentally kidnap, Graeme and Clive hatch a fumbling escape plan to return Paul to his mother ship. And as two nerds struggle to help, one little green man might just take his fellow outcasts from misfits to intergalactic heroes...

Watch the trailer. This movie is already making me laugh. I can tell it's going to be one of those films I won't be able to get enough of, and I'll be watching it over and over and over. The trailer is here, and the LA Times article is here.

Bill Cunningham New York [NYC]

Director: Richard Press
Stars: Bill Cunningham, Anna Wintour, Michael Kors
Studio: Zeitgeist Films

The Plot: A documentary on New York Times photographer Bill Cunningham.
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Bierde

Simplistic aerial maps

OMG, what a dork I am. I have started to take some interest in Adobe Illustrator for its tracer tool. Without any subject matter to scan and open with the software, I drew a silly rendition of what might pass for Bill the cat, with a pompadour. spellining probably off on that last word. As you might imagine, that little project has just been getting buried under my desktop. I didn't realize that that tracer tool would be ideal fir creating a map of library locations in the vicinity.

I would've resorted to copying a google map, but I need something not to scale so that major streets are visible fir the north east area of LA

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